State: Relieved that the holiday and its associated work is behind me. Cheerful with the new semester. Cold because it's suddenly realised it's supposed to be winter. Odd because the phrase "I am not your nubile chicken" appears to be stuck in my head.

Search: nubile chicken

Result: I bet you've always wanted to know how to Increase system uptime with Satanic Rituals. I know I have.

This meshes surprisingly well with what a one-time acquaintance recommended for a persistently crashing computer - he declared that my computer was clearly suffering from demonic possession, although it was difficult to tell, what with Windows and all. However, the evil spirit would only be appeased by a virgin sacrifice. I suggested that perhaps the drying blood might cause more problems than it solved, but he dismissed this as a minor concern beyond the possession of my computer by evil forces. There was also the problem that, as I am in college, a virgin is a rare and prized commodity, and one would not be cheap to obtain. Faced with these obstacles (not to mention how cliche the whole thing would be - simply ruin my image), I decided instead to commune with the spirit and see if we couldn't come to some sort of mutually-beneficial agreement.

It turned out to be Abraham Lincoln in my computer. Naturally, Bill Gates was no match for our combined intellects, and the esteemed President and I have been happily co-existing ever since. I notice a certain possessive jealousy, but Abe has at least become accommodating towards A since then. Thank goodness.