Yes, because I have the home address and phone number of Russell Crowe just lying around. In fact, I call him up every second day and we talk dirty. The boy says the most outrageous things, I tell you.

Meanwhile, Shauny's tale of road not-quite-rage is one of the funniest things I've heard in ages. My father used to do things like that. And he had two giggling girls in the back seat quite willing to wave and pull faces at people.