...And then they shall say of her: Never has someone done so little, for so long, with so much class.

It'd be interesting to go back over my life with a fine-tooth comb to try and find the day when I stopped keeping up, and started lagging behind. I'd like to know when it was, what brought it on, whether I could change it. Because since then, I've always been behind. Sometimes I expend a huge effort, and catch up for a while, but I always fall back again.

It doesn't bother me, which is probably just as well. I adjust, and it becomes a part of what makes me me. It's a definite contributing factor to why I am so laid back. And there's some sort of thrill in living life by the skin of your teeth.

One day it might be nice to catch up for good, maybe even get ahead. But somehow I equate this to my usual nightmares - steady job, suburbia, 2.x children. Boredom. For now, I will live with the thrill, and the lethargy, and the apathy, and be me.