Book stores are, seriously, my Thieves' Maze. Yanno, like in every good/bad adventure flick? The hero has to go through a death-defying dungeon of doom, dodging this and avoiding that until he gets to the end. Well book stores are my Thieves' Maze.

It all starts with the bargain tables out the front. It's easy to underestimate this first obstacle. You think it's just the first one, so it'll be easy, and anyway there's never anything on these tables that's good anyway. And then, when it's lulled you into a false sense of security, you get hit by a low-flying 'Myths of the World' for $7.95. Vicious, I tell you.

I escaped, though, just barely managing to put the book back on the table and keep going inside. I made it to the back of the store (the fantasy/sci-fi section) in one piece; the next challenge. This is the big one, the standard, the point where most intrepid adventurers falter and are lost. Oooh... new KJ Parker. New Australian fantasy author I've never heard of. Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay! And shelves and shelves of Robin Hobb.

But I resist! I walk away, through the unappetising business and travel sections. I see the light ahead, the entrance to the shop, I'm nearly clear...

And then I hit the booby-trap. A huge pile of books, with enticing little $1.00 price tags on them. Dungeons and Dragons books, and Forbidden Realms, and other pulp fantasy fiction. All the bad fantasy you can stand for one buck a pop. My resolve turns to water, and runs gibbering. I am entranced, enthralled, gathering printed pages like the hero at the pile of gold, running it through his fingers and cackling maniacally.

Oh no! She's lost! Our intrepid adventurer has met her doom. But wait! What's this? She's putting down the busty-wench-encovered volumes! She's setting aside her sword-wielding barbarians. She's turning for the exit. She's walking out without a book!

Yeehah! Now all I have to do is kill the bad guy and rescue the love interest. Rock!