Me: Did K^L steal your pliers?
J¹: Uh...
J¹: No...
Me: Are you sure?
J¹: Pretty damn sure.
Me: OK.
J¹: My pliers are crap though. Not sure why anyone would want to steal them.
Me: K^L wants to be a plumber when he grows up.
J¹: He just wants to meet bored housewives.