If I was a James Bond Villain, I'd be Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Once again, I could have told them that without taking the test. They want me to be played by Donald Pleasence, but I prefer the early Blofeld, who had no name, and no face, and was just an arm that stroked a cat. I liked the cat. Nards and I used to declare that the James Bond Cat was the highest form of life.

It occurs to me only now, after all these years of ignorance, that Blofeld (or SPECTRE's No. 1, as he was then) must be what Inspector Gadget's Dr Claw was a take-off of. Oh dear, I feel so slow. But never fear, I get there eventually.