Some nitwit in Bundaberg (which he describes as "what God had in mind when he created Eden" - I'm laughing as hard as you are, gilmae) has decided that English needs to use a system of phonetic spelling.

Moron.

For starters, phonetic spelling really doesn't make things that much easier, I find. Both German and Arabic are spelt exactly like they sound. Which is all well and good if you can figure out what the sound actually is. It all comes down to word recognition, regardless of how phonetic the spelling is. Only true phonetics (one of the most complex systems I've ever come across) doesn't require much word recognition.

Secondly, he does away with dipthongs (two vowel sounds together). The problem with this is that he seems to think the 'a' sound in 'hair' and 'pear' is the same as in 'eight' and 'invasion'. No. Wrong. Bugger off.

But that's really by-the-by. My biggest problem, the one that makes me want to stop off in Bundy on my way home and shoot this wanker, is that he's ruining the beauty of the English language. My language. My beautiful, beautiful English. Hell, while we're at it, why not just start describing things as 'double-plus good'?

My message to this guy: There's nothing wrong with English. You're just stupid.