Breakfast table soundbites:

• "I hate to say this about anyone, sorry, but you'd fit in really well in a boyband."
  
• "I really don't find midgets that amusing. Some people seem to think you can just put a midget in any situation and it's automatically funny, but I'm not one of them!"
  
• "Mushrooms do grow, you muppet. Not in the kitchen, though. At least, I hope not."