Mum: "Well, it's not good but it could be worse."
Me: "How bad is not good?"

Mum: "They rate these things from 1 to 5, one being the best and five being the worst. He's a four."

My father is my hero.
My father is unstoppable.
My father could take on Superman one-handed.
My father has had cancerous cells discovered.
My father has to undertake a six-week course of radiation therapy.
My father is seventy and I'm still his little girl and I don't want him to die.
Ever.