Post-firedrill hot chocolate is always very welcome, but always, always too hot.

"We need milk," B^k declared. "Shall we go on a quest?"

"Yes," I answered. "Let us go in search of the White Milk of Coolth."

Because everyone knows you have to go on a quest for the Adjective Noun of Proper Noun. If you're going to do it properly. And who wants to be a part of half-assed quests?

Our first setback was quick in coming. "There's no milk in the dining room!" they told us gaily, hurrying past. "It all went into the hot chocolate!"

Entirely undismayed, we changed our direction and climbed the stairs. Or mountain, whatever. Yea, verily, unto the first floor we ventured, being too lazy to go all the way to the top. Besides, you need these little sidetrips to make the story interesting.

In the 1B kitchen, we found three young adventurers already hard at work, torturing the fridge. (Well, they say they were defrosting it, but we had our doubts.)

"Is there any White Milk of Coolth?" B^k asked.

"Have you tried the dining room?" they replied.

And so we shouldered our chocolate and climbed the long weary way to the top of the mountainous stairs, there to discover... White Milk of Coolth! All hail.

But wait! This wasn't real White Milk of Coolth, I cleverly noted. It was, in fact, milk which had gone off some five days hence. Luckily, we were true and intrepid adventurers, not to be fooled by cheap imitations.

And so, with all other avenues tried and failed, we were left with no other alternative but to brave the Dragon's Lair (also known as Jen's room), sure that the Dragon would always have some White Milk of Coolth. After all, the dragons always have the good shit, right? We crept along the corridor, unto her door.

"I'm glad you're with me, Dee," B^k was heard to utter.

"God, that was awful," I responded. "That's just wrong, is what that is."

As we poured the blessed White Milk of Coolth into our hot chocolate (which, despite all the farting about, was still hot), the Dragon returned!

So we offered her some milk for her chocolate too.

(I love living in college.)