Today I saw a girl stop right in the middle of the mall and put her change in her shoe. I wondered what the hell she was doing, making a David-Bowie-filmclip-esque leg in front of her, like a courtly, florid bow. She dropped a coin in the process, and it tinkled on the cement.

And I thought: "Isn't that just fucking uncomfortable?"

At dinner, fairybread was made, and someone said: "I'm reliving my childhood, right here."

I think it would have been more amusing if she'd then dropped the fairybread in her lap, and sworn a blue streak.