"When you get right down to it," my mother philosophised, "Coeliac isn't all that bad. I mean, it just limits your diet a bit. There are lots of worse things you could have. Like cancer, or multiple sclerosis, or gall stones."

"Suppurating ulcers," I offered. "Y'know, if we're going to get really unpleasant."

She laughed. "Chronic halitosis. Then no one would want to be near you."

(The macabre humour of the Evans family. Honestly, it's a wonder I turned out as normal as I did.)