When I left work this afternoon, I felt like I should be singing some sort of empowerment song. Skipping down the street, belting out "I will survive", or some crap like that.

I had Overcome my Fear.

I went to work absolutely terrified. I'd worked myself up into this state over the idea of spruiking. (Though I laughed it off at the blog meetup - and that was great, by the way, with the people and the chat and the laughter and the photographs of the urinals and all, just fantastic.) I was really grumpy, and not at all a happy girl.

When I get terrified, I get methodical. I stalked the store, and made a list. I could talk about this, and that. I made myself notes, like I was the third debating speaker again, and forming rebuttal on the opposition's malformed arguments. I was a lethal third speaker. I was barbed, I was witty, the words just came together in my head, and I wrote them down. I did that now, plotting my pitch like a battle.

Then I went out and did it.

I'm not saying it was perfect. I'm not saying it was even very good. But the boss didn't fire me, and I didn't spontaneously combust, and I had a laugh, and really, it was easy.

Don't know what I was so fucking frightened of, frankly.

So yeah, and then I got paid, and I didn't skip down Bourke Street singing, but I did grin, and stride with a lighter step than usual, and I didn't sneer even once.

Honest, I didn't.