Me: "That's $39.95, please."
Girl: "Wait, it was ten dollars."
Me: I really don't think so.
Me: "Where did you get it from?"
Girl: "Just over there, but look on the tag, it's $9.95."
Me: "That's $89.95. Marked down to $49.95. With the twenty percent off, that's $39.95." What more do you want, blood?
Girl: "Oh. I won't get it, then."

Me: "That's $9.95."
Lady: "But what about the twenty percent off?"
Me: "Twenty percent off all books." These are cards. Blank cards too, it's not as if you could string them all together and get a totally post-modernist cutting-edge work of fiction.
Lady: "But they were on the shelf."
Me: Which automatically makes them books, of course. "Yeah, whatever, I just work here."

Guy: "This says it's the companion to the dictionary."
Me: "Yes."
Guy: "Where's the dictionary?"
Me: For the hundredth time: "If it's not on the shelf, then we don't have it."
Guy: "But how do you expect to sell this without the dictionary?"
Me: I never expect to sell anything, it comes as a constant surprise to me that people keep giving me money. Come to think of it, what are you doing here?
Me: "It doesn't have to be with the dictionary."
Guy: "But it says it's the companion."
Me: But that doesn't mean it can't make its own way in the world, what are you, misogynist?
Me: "But you don't have to have it to use the dictionary."
Guy: "But where's the dictionary?"
Me: READ MY LIPS! "We don't have it."
Guy: "Oh."

Hurrah for retail, huh?