So You've Decided to be Evil, and now you need some advice. After all, there's those pesky do-gooders who are always going to get in your way and you simply have to dress to fit the part. You need some advice from the people who know. Don't accept any substitutes.

I particularly recommend the "Make your own Evil Plan" tool. Very useful in turning around a slow weekend.

PS: Here's my Evil Plan^TM!

Your objective is simple: Murder Countless Innocents

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Sadistic pleasure

Stage One:

To begin your plan, you must first Seduce a Pope. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this Despoiler of all that is Good and Nice and True? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in Classic Black?

Stage Two:

Next, you will Contaminate/poison the Pyramids of Giza. This will cause countless hordes of Mean English Teachers to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with Fuzzy bunnies, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.

Stage Three:

Finally, you will Demonstrate your Horsemen of the Apocalypse, bringing about Something That's Really Metal. This will all be done from a Abandoned Church, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.

Trust us, it'll all come together in the end.