Why I love college, reason #27:
U: Who's going to hotwire my car?
J²: Me!
U: How?
J²: Through sheer force of personality.
R: With his nipples.
Me: Yeah, wire him up and he goes: "Graaaaagh!" and your car starts.
N: With his nipples?
R: Stanley and Denise.
U: His nipples are called Stanley and Denise?
Me: Which is which?
R: Stanley is the one that looks like a normal human nipple, and Denise is on his back and bright blue.
Me: J², lift your shirt up.
J²: No, shan't. I'll show you my wound, though.
Me: I've already seen your wound.
J¹: How did you get it?
J²: Rough sex. No, actually in a mosh pit.
N: You had sex in a mosh pit?
Me: And no one even noticed.