Just to clarify to whoever this is relevant to:

Just because I listen to loud and angry music - Metallica, Kittie, Rammstein, Weissglut, Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson - it does not, ipso facto, follow that I adore Tool, want to have Maynard James Keenan's babies, or will be shelling out hideous amounts of money to go to the concert next month. I don't want to go with you. Yes, I'm feeling OK. Don't look at me like that, or I'll rip your nose off.

No, I don't think Tool are the best band in the world. I think they're long-winded, too impressed by their own importance and don't produce anything that I could listen to frequently with any sort of equanimity. The occasional song is decent, in small doses, and with the seven-minute intro cut off, fried in pig fat and slapped between two bits of bread.

The more rational, reasonable explanation I give is that Tool are too 'alternative' for me. Too Seattle, still, too light guitars and experimentation. I like my music hard, fast and fun.

Thank you. That is all.