Me: Shakespeare while drunk! Much more interesting.
H: methinkest definitely improves comprehension of all his random analogies
Me: More serious chemical assistance might be necessary for some of his work.
H: or a big gun
H: all those words would wither in sight of gargantuan cannon
Me: "Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him- uh, actually, it's not important..."
H: Mmm. Hamlet with less rambling by Hamlet
Me: Edited at gunpoint.
H: the invention of the dot point form