The Book of Summer After-hours Duty (SAD): Chapter 1

1: For lo, it was known throughout the land that Dee was a sucker, and would start early with very little persuasion required.
2: And she was heard to utter: "It won't be a very busy weekend, will it?"
3: See? A sucker.
4: It came to pass that once again, the response to the ringing of the duty phone was: "Oh fucking hell."
5: And this was right and proper, and just as it should be.
6: Eventually, even Dee couldn't be arsed putting shoes on to go down to check the people in.
7: But they were all very nice, and didn't seem to mind it that much.
8: And it also came to pass that Jen's Plaything conceived of a great desire to lay hands upon the phone.
9: But Dee did not trust him. (Not that much of a sucker, apparently.)
10: In the midst of the mayhem, a bird occurred.
11: It's a long story. But basically, the birds who've been nesting in the wall next to Dee's bed and which she's been having noisy altercations with for the past few months discovered that there's actually a way to get from their nest into Dee's room, and with a feathery slither and a great squawking, there came through the hole a young bird filled with consternation.
12: And also full of shit.
13: It takes a lot of time and ingenuity to get a terrified young bird out of one's room. And a lot of effort to get bird shit out of bed sheets.
14: And that was the First Day.