Sometimes I wonder if I know too much about writing to actually be successful at it. Those are the times when I decide to be an editor instead. Easy way out? Maybe I just like telling people what they're doing wrong. In which case, I should become a hermit, live on the top of a mountain (a mountain with cable internet access, of course), and make people walk hundreds of miles uphill just for the privilege of having me tell them what they're doing wrong.

"Don't climb mountains! What are you trying to do, kill yourself?"

Or even better: "Don't. Just don't, OK? I don't want to say any more about it, just don't."