Belatedly, the Big Day Out was full of rock, metal, fun and sunburn. No, really, I have the most hilarious sun lines on my face. I know this because people keep pointing and laughing.

Apart from that, only injury accrued was a smidgen of mosh-pit trauma. Trying to watch Muse from five metres away was like being neck-deep in a washing machine. After the first song I bailed out to beyond the breakers. That's the last time I swim between the flags.