I'm starting to think there's some sort of weird nasty conflux happening in whatever swirl of energies is depicted in most daily lifestyle predictive means. A bad planet in everyone's sign. A general spitting-on of qi. A giant toilet in the universe's feng shui.

All of my friends seem to be meeting with small disasters. Break-ups, accidents, personal crises. Two thirds of the staff at work are sick.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I've become a karma sink. Maybe I'm a walking, talking sunspot.

Or maybe everyone should just avoid salads.