I'm taking yoga classes, through one of those strange sequences of events, similar to the sort of thing that leaves a band with the same name but none of the original members.

Anyway, this morning we're doing our salutations, and as I'm standing there all belligerent in Warrior pose, I look down my fingers at my reflection in the mirror and I go, "Oh my goodness. Look at her. She looks like of of those rap guy's girlfriends. What is this thing?"

Yes, apparently I have a butt. But I still don't have tits, so I suppose the world hasn't quite come to an end.

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Never let me say that my work doesn't raise questions. From the manuscript I've just finished transcribing, the question of whether anyone can seriously propose a chapter title of "the Impotent Footballer who Came Good" without intending the pun.

On a much more esoteric note: is it actually possible to idealise God?

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We have a new favourite place to eat. We were cruising down King Street (no, not like that) in search of something quick and easy, and as we sighed and moved towards Nando's, we got pulled off track by hilarious window dressing.

For starters, the place said it closed on Thursday nights at "1:01am". The other window had a list as long as the window was high, beginning with hawkers, moving on through truck-drivers, bussies, people with AIDS, Collingwood supporters and "that fat kid from Hey Dad", and concluding that they were "all entirely welcome here".

We were sold. We went in. The place is called BBNT, and it does good burgers, man. And really good chips. (All hail chicken salt.) Plus, I got to read a magazine that had a big article/interview on Johnny Depp. Fucking brilliant.

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Have I mentioned recently that I have a soft spot for skater boys? I suspect I wouldn't like talking to them, but they're fun to watch. They do cool shit. Like ninjas. Except not that cool. Because they couldn't possibly be as cool as ninjas. For starters, they make too much noise.

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None of these things are anything like the others. Except maybe my burger consumption is related to my butt.