All right, this is the most worthy search I've seen in a long time: how to have sex in the shower. Because, you know, you can't just ad lib these delicate matters. Come to think of it, how is this instructing going to work. You'd both have to memorise the complete instructions, because you couldn't very well print out the directions and take them into the shower with you. They'd get soggy and the ink would run. I suppose you could put it in one of those plastic sheet things and then it wouldn't get wet. You could stick it to the wall in an easily seen spot so that you could check from time to time to make sure you're doing it right. But that would really make your guests puzzled, I'm sure.

PS: If you absolutely have to know, I recommend this list of handy tips. Especially pay attention to the last one. That means you, Faye and Tim!