I love button-up jeans. They're just so much easier. The fact that I don't actually have to undo anything, just grab and wrench. No, I'm serious. If I do it just right - and I do, because I've had these jeans for a couple of years now and I wear them a lot. Oh yeah, and I have washed them in the last three months, thank you (2 points) - if I do it just right, the buttons come undone in a flash. And I don't have to worry about pulling them off like happens all the time to my other pants, because these are quintuple-stitched into denim, for DOUG's-sake.

Oh yeah, and it only works if you're in the jeans. Trust me, it's been tested. And don't ask by who. It should be patently obvious.

Incidentally, I was going to write this paper tonight, but I've been playing five card Texas Hold 'Em (that would be poker) for the past two hours. We started out playing five card draw and first hand, I get a 8-high straight. Beautiful. And J¹ beats me with a bloody Queen-high straight. Fucker! I paid him back later, though, when we bluffed everyone out and I won with an Ace high. He had a Queen high. Woohoo!