Thinly-disguised navel-gazing through a veil of rugby (aka: the game they play in heaven).

"And, of course, Johnny Wilkinson didn't miss," my mother grumbled on the phone after the English slaughtered Australia. "If he misses, it's an occasion to send telegrams to everyone you know. The bugger'd kick his own grandmother over the crossbar if there was three points in it."

My mother has few fanatacisms. Liquorice all-sorts (before Coeliac put them beyond her reach). Simulation pinball. And rugby union. One of the dominant memories of my childhood is being woken in the middle of the night by my mother slapping the arm of her chair and screaming "Go you good thing!" at whatever international rugby match they were watching. My father is of Welsh descent. My mother is a practising Christian, but rugby is the household god.

Last night I discovered how much I am truly the offspring of my parents. England vs Samoa. It promised to be a tight one, but half of the Samoa squad hadn't been released by their clubs (boo, hiss) and hence it was going to be an uphill battle. I tend to cheer for England in the cricket, but the Male and I had decided we were obviously going to have to support Samoa when we saw what proportion of the crowd was decked out in white-and-red, singing "God Save The Queen".

England won. They deserved to win. They were the better team; a solid forward pack that just pushed the Samoans around, and rock-solid set-plays that took their toll. But where they played rugby from the head, the Samoans played from the gut, with flair and finesse and the sort of brilliant fire that makes watching football the sort of experience that snatches the breath from your throat. From an explosive start, they led for most of the game, being beaten down and sneaking back.

I screamed myself hoarse. I shouted: "Go you good thing!" And I experienced the wonder that is a stadium full of English supporters singing "Swing Low Sweet Chariot".

Oh, and Johnny Wilkinson was having an utterly shit night. He got about two from seven. So consider this several telegrams.