Him: Cicadas are X-Men.
Me: What?
Him: They have Xs on their backs. Beetles are Transformers; they have Ts.
Me: So they turn into little cars?
Him: They sort of look like little cars to start with.
Me: Good point. So they turn into little people?
Him: You turn into little people.
Me: I do! I do!
Him: Hal and Frank and Judy. I don't like Judy much.
Me: She doesn't like you either, bitch.
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