We were on holidays last week. (I didn't mention this because A) I wasn't organised enough; and B) I always wonder about the wisdom of announcing in a public forum that my house is going to be vacated for an extended period. Of course, even if someone inclined towards larceny or just plain breaking and entering were reading this blog, chances are they wouldn't know where I lived. Of course, in addition, St Lisa was in and house-sitting, and the idea of her putting out her cigarette in a would-be burglar's eye fills me with what would probably be called a feeling of well-being if it weren't so blackhearted.)

Anyway. We were on holidays last week. We went up to Mount Buller, most commonly known as a ski resort, and thus rather quiet in April. One night there were five people in the hotel (we asked). It was exactly what we were after - a week of complete vegetation with occasional bouts of energy during which we did amusing things like climb to the top of the mountain, or pop down to visit some wineries.

And in the evenings we got to play the fun game: "Let's find an open restaurant on top of a mountain in the off-season!"

The place must be amazing in winter. There's accommodation for thousands, and amenities galore. Eateries and bars and more pubs and let's have some more alcohol. A cinema and a supermarket more ski shops than you could poke one of those pointy pole things at.

But are they open in autumn? Are they bollocks.

Actually, the most fun we had was trying to find hats. We'd stupidly come up without ours, intending extended somnolence, and then thought we might do some walking. But full sun with fragile Melbourne complexions is not a good idea.

The hotel reception couldn't help us. The sports shops were closed. The supermarket had no headgear (not strictly true, but I was entertained by neither the suggestion of showercap, nor that of jerry-rigging something with a frying pan). Finally, we slogged up to the pubgrub hotel and they opened their souvenir shop for us. All the woolly beanies you can eat, but was there anything with an actual brim? For children older than five? Wait! There in the corner!

So we ended up with matching XTM! hats, in stylish militaristic black with a red star on the front. Obviously these are too good to waste, so we're considering a "revolutionary" theme for our next party.

If nothing else, it'll give us a chance to mock everyone for their fucking Che Guevara shirts.