"I could smell the passion from their souls and count the beats of the hearts of men I would gladly accompany to battle."

Body-building isn't even slightly homoerotic. What are you talking about?

I think our apartment is spontaneously generating coins.

I'm not complaining, mind.

One of these days I fully intend to fix my stupid template so that the archives actually work. Then again, for years I've intended to get a new hatstand, read Anna Karenina and learn to play the harp, so just get in line.

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My cousin - you know, the one who's only escaped being called "Mini Me" because he's a foot and a half taller than me - is now married. Twice, but it's alright, because it was the same girl both times. Traditional Catholic ceremony, followed by traditional Sri Lankan Buddhist ceremony. There were so many gorgeous saris at the reception. There was also my aunt's hairdresser, whose husband stalked me all evening, taking photos of my haircut. Hmm.

This event (the wedding, not the stalking) was a good excuse for a weekend in Brisbane, of which city I am rather fond, in all its "I'm in what lane now?", desperately-needs-an-elevator glory. Caught up with Kezza for some lovely wandering and nattering (and Mexican) and also managed to get some work done. Ever since I did EnVision up there, Brisbane's been good for my creativity. Maybe I don't need a Varuna, maybe I just need a timeshare on Wickham Terrace...

I spent last week in Adelaide. This coming weekend, I'm going to Brisbane for my cousin's wedding. Weekend after that, we're entertaining interstate visitors. Is this the jet-setting lifestyle I always dreamed of having? Can one actually jet-set with Virgin?

I'm not afraid of asking the hard questions.

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At the top of my "notes to myself on how to fix the novel", it says More fanplay & hippos.

I think this just about sums it up.

I'd almost forgotten about the hippos (as much as one can, anyway). They get passing references - at one point, for instance there's a market stall selling charms to keep hippos away, which I will never ever remove, because I find it hilarious - but never appear. Just before we fled to Adelaide, however, I caught up with one of Anthony's old workmates, who asked (as had been her wont whenever we met) how the hippos were going. I realised I'd finished and polished the whole thing with nary a grey nose to be seen.

She was rather upset. Hippos, she felt, were a prime point of difference for my novel in a horse/dragon/talking cats-filled genre. She's never even heard of a fantasy novel with hippos in. There should be hippos.

She has a point. Part of what I believe makes my novel saleable - apart from its delicacy of expression, strength of character arc, innovative magic use and the fact I'm a fucking genius - is its unique jungle-mangrove-monsoon setting and the uses I make of it. And yet I haven't included the hippos.

Now that I think of it, there aren't any visible alligators either, apart from that pygmy one being bought at the market. I haven't even got any monkeys. Good god, I FAIL.

The problem with including hippos is that... well, they're hippos. They're big, somnolent, nine-tenths below the water (it's not just for icebergs any more) and the most bloody dangerous creatures on the planet. At various points in the writing of the novel, Anthony and I have had a variety of ridiculous discussions about hippos every time I considered inserting them into the story. Hippos on the canal/river? Havoc wrought upon trade/passenger craft/our heroine. Hippo-baiting as a sport? They never found anything but splinters of the grandstand and a blood-stained flag.

The "crocodiles look a bit like logs and hippos are herbivores" conversation was, even for us, a gem of the art of hilarity.

Fans? Fans have never, in the history of the world, rolled over and bitten a boat in half. Fans are easy. But you keep away from hippos. "You", in this case, alas, probably includes my characters and plot, despite my handwritten exhortation to the contrary.

I should definitely do something about the alligators, monkeys, parrots, snakes, insects and little furry critters, however.